I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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