Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
