I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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