Having a random hookup so left but love u
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
