NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
