p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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