Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
