So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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