i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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