I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
