Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
