I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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