Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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