only if we run a train.
done.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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