I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
