someone owes me an orgasm
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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