Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
