So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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