I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
