if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
