i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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