hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
