I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she peed on how many people?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
