you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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