What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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