I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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