Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
