I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
