Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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