threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
