you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
