HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
