he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
