you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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