it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
