Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
