I'm so fucking centered right now
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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