One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
someone owes me an orgasm
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
