We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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