who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
