Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
are you so shy because you have an std?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
