You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
