If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
