Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
