This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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