His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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