Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
