who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
