I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
