I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
