She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
