Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Enjoy the penises
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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